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[audio]DBP 3 - We're Recording, You Know - Dead Beak
It's time for the third Dead Beak Podcast. This week, we have recurring special guest; Yaz Clark (off of YAFCast), and first time special special guest, Eatturnip.
Keywords: Dead Beak; Podcast; Comedy
Downloads: 56
[audio]DBP 3 - We're Recording, You Know - Dead Beak
It's time for the third Dead Beak Podcast. This week, we have recurring special guest; Yaz Clark (off of YAFCast), and first time special special guest, Eatturnip.
Keywords: Dead Beak; Podcast; Comedy
Downloads: 68
[audio]Late Late Late - Dead Beak
It's been months since our last podcast, and it took another week after recording to actually get the damn thing online, but here it is; another Dead Beak podcast. For our one fan. Yay.
Keywords: Dead Beak; Podcast; Comedy
Downloads: 69
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 22: Famous Sock Puppets and Ventriloquist Dummies - Breakfast with the Beak
This week, Breakfast with the Beak is taking on the topic of famous puppets. So don't worry. You-know-who isn't famous yet, and does not appear in this episode. So join us as we burn off all the Tim Pawlenty jokes that we won't get to use in the primaries, and maybe talk about some puppets or something too.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 12
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 108: WWII UFOs - Breakfast with the Beak
We horn in on the History Channel's turf by talking about stuff that's probably not true, but totally involves Nazis and aliens. Were the mysterious lights that followed World War II fighter pilots just boring old natural phenomena, or were they something more sinister? Can you prove they weren't? Maybe they're flying saucers launched from a secret base at the south pole. Sure, it sounds stupid, but people were into some stupid stuff back then...
Keywords: podcast; Breakfast with the Beak
Downloads: 47
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 6: Webcomics - Breakfast with the Beak
This week, we dive headfirst into the world of webcomics and struggle to find some kind words for the format. Along the way, we dress pigeons in little janitor uniforms, spend some time on the holodeck with Blondie and Dagwood, and battle hordes of Breakfast with the Beak groupies. As usual, it will make more sense in context.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 34
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 77: Family Reunions - Breakfast with the Beak
Like everyone else, we have families, and we can't always avoid them. But why settle for family togetherness when we can talk about violent children armed with sofa cushions and shoes? Seriously, that comes up. As do terrible mashed potatoes, limerick parties, and trails of grease all over your mother's nice floors. If nothing else, listening to this will probably make you feel better about your family.
Keywords: breakfast with the beak; podcast
Downloads: 48
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 27: Ryan Reynolds - Breakfast with the Beak
How many superheroes should Ryan Reynolds get to play? I don't know, because I am deathly ill and stoned out of my mind on flu medicine. So enjoy that, audience. I'm sure I did, even though I can't remember recording most of this episode. Apparently, I came up with a better way to remake Footloose. Or a movie about hunchbacks or something. I'm going back to bed.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 30
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 96: Beans! - Breakfast with the Beak
Beans! Somehow, that's our topic. And it's not that it's a bad topic, but where exactly are we supposed to go with that? Trading recipes? Talking about botany? Drifting off topic and just making stuff up? Probably that last one. So listen if you want to hear about soy conspiracies, coconut vampires, imaginary birds, and, to a much lesser extent, beans.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 47
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 10: Squirrels: Mercenaries of Darkness - Breakfast with the Beak
Oh, that's right. A topic so terrifying, we needed two colons in the title. Have we stumbled upon the greatest conspiracy of our age, or does it only exist in the fevered imagination of the listener who suggested this topic? We unravel the mysteries of exploding trees, rodent hallucinogens, and the finest, most exclusive cashews Donald Trump has ever eaten. Also, there is a cereal commercial.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 22
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 17: Douchebaggery - Breakfast with the Beak
The world is full of douchebags, and we're going to find out why. How are we going to do that? The same way we always do: by asking a lot of questions, then getting distracted. What do we mean when we call someone a douchebag? What does Sarah Palin have in common with Viserys Targaryen? What effect would a herd of wild camels have on tourism in Las Vegas? All this and more will be partially answered on this episode of Breakfast with the Beak!
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 31
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 94: Best Places to Live - Breakfast with the Beak
What's the best city to live in? What does that even mean? Does it mean a city with a reputation for being cool? One where the booze is cheap and plentiful? Do we have to limit ourselves to places that aren't fictional? Is it a good idea for a podcast host to give himself a new nickname 94 episodes in? We have definitive answers to none of these queries, but we do have some dumb jokes.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 46
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 1: The Russian Space Program - Breakfast with the Beak
Our podcast officially premieres with a discussion of the Russian space program, which quickly deteriorates into a lengthy summary of the Blue Lagoon franchise. Learn all about the Sputnik Show, space-Viking funerals, and Eddie Murphy's inevitable career in Martian cinema. And although we forgot to mention it in the podcast itself, our theme song is "Choco Taco" by the inimitable Captain Fun.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 66
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 50: Home Cleaning Tips - Breakfast with the Beak
This week, we got an offer from a company that wanted to sponsor a topic... and it immediately fell apart, and we wound up discussing the topic for free like a couple of chumps. Which means you get your household cleaning tips without any pesky advertisements! You'll learn why you should never let cows into your home, why you should never combine drugs and sledgehammers, and how I came to be obsessed with artisan root beers...
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 22
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 40: Giant Baby in the Post-Apocalypse - Breakfast with the Beak
Are we going to let the fact that it's literally Christmas day stop us from posting a new show? Hell no! It's not even a gimmicky holiday episode! No, we're celebrating the season by talking about our big plans for the end of the world, where we will make our living as dashing outlaws delivering Twinkies to hungry children. Does that sound more awesome than Christmas? Yes it does. Because it is.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 30
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 15: Qatar - Breakfast with the Beak
Things get off to a rough start this week, thanks to some... confusion regarding my sidekick. Eventually we got it all worked out and really tried to talk about Qatar, but then someone mentioned penguins and it all sort of went to hell from there. Dude. Have you seen a penguin? They're great!
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 24
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 101: Whither Canada? - Breakfast with the Beak
Whither Canada indeed! In 1969, the good people at Monty Python's Flying Circus asked that question, and then proceeded to blow everyone's minds. We look at that first episode, but mostly we get distracted and talk about the finer points of sketch comedy, and how to prevent your show from sucking. Tune in to learn all about the value of silliness, and the curse of cool shades.
Keywords: podcast; Breakfast with the Beak
Downloads: 65
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 33: YouTube Celebrities - Breakfast with the Beak
What separates a YouTube celebrity from, you know, a celebrity? Do millions of views matter if no one at the party has ever seen your show? Can we relate in any meaningful way to tween culture? These are the questions we're avoiding this week as we discuss what it takes to be a breakout star in the world of new media. So join us, and together we can make Doktor Socksenberg a star.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 22
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 93: Topic Roundup! - Breakfast with the Beak
We get a lot of topics here at Breakfast with the Beak HQ, and we don't always get around to them in a timely manner. Well, never fear! We're wrapping up 2012 with a marathon of never-before-discussed topics, from discontinued ice cream flavors to confusing questions about fabric dyes to automotive puns. Did we use one of yours? Probably. Listen and find out!
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 37
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 48: Danger: Diabolik - Breakfast with the Beak
Danger: Diabolik! It's been a long-running comic book, an infamous movie, an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, and -- in our overactive imaginations -- a really amazing crossover episode of Archer. And despite all that, you've probably never heard of it. Listening to this episode won't really help you with that, but we do have some ideas for that Munsters reboot you've been reading about! We promise they're better that whatever show is actually being made.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 57
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 83: Medieval Torture Practices - Breakfast with the Beak
This week, we really earn that iTunes "Explicit" rating. Why? Because we're describing the horrors of the Inquisition in graphic detail. And it's really horrifying, and not exactly the best source of comedy. So if you've ever wanted to see us visibly uncomfortable, you're in luck. Also, I think we defamed a forgettable actor.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 82
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 14: Grad School - Breakfast with the Beak
This week, we present a public service announcement on the dangers of grad school. Will you find enlightenment and intellectual stimulation, or will you just divide your time between asking your parents for money and asking your professors for money? We're still not sure, because we got distracted by the blinding blandness of Tim Pawlenty.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 20
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 126: Character Crossovers - Breakfast with the Beak
If you could take characters from one work and put them in another work, which ones would you choose? More importantly, how would you make it as funny and/or stupid as possible? We're a lot more interested in the latter question, and we find a few decent answers to it. If you're interested in festive bears and sitcom survivalists, or if you just need to be reassured that someone else remembers Parker Lewis, this could be the show for you.
Keywords: podcast; Breakfast with the Beak
Downloads: 50
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 82: Who Killed Dr. Sex? - Breakfast with the Beak
Have we got a weird one for you this week! We might not know who killed Dr. Sex, but we know who wrote a book about it. Kind of. It's a tangled web of Australian trade law, composite authors, old-time radio serials, and dangerous dames with secrets they'd kill for. Seriously, just look at all the links we mention in the episode. This one's educational.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 98
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 146: Bedbugs - Breakfast with the Beak
We're getting downright educational this week! Bedbugs have made their homes in our fair city, and we have the inside scoop from a real-life ex-exterminator. Where did these tiny bloodsuckers come from? How can you protect yourself? Who can we blame? Guaranteed to feature at least one very uncomfortable host, plus a nice bit about koalas at the end.
Keywords: podcast; Breakfast with the Beak
Downloads: 56
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 89: Deserted Islands - Breakfast with the Beak
According to popular culture, people get stranded on islands all the time, but what does it actually take to survive on one? We don't actually know. Still, we're pretty sure TV writers haven't gotten it right yet. So join us for a tropical adventure full of friendly parrots, sinister shark-men, and Robinson Crusoe's weirdly casual approach to kidnapping. Also, Mothra.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 45
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 39: Energy Drinks - Breakfast with the Beak
Do energy drinks work? Yes they do. Have we done semi-scientific experiments on ourselves using energy drinks? You know it. Do we have funny things to say about this topic? Probably. Join us in a magical world of extreme sports, questionable brand names, flying Englishmen, and rusty washtubs full of malt liquor, and we will answer all your questions about what the hell taurine actually does.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 16
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 9: Rapture Countdown - Breakfast with the Beak
No sense waiting for breakfast this week, because there may not be a world to eat breakfast in. We're counting down to the Rapture, and you're invited to listen in. Will the righteous be swept up to heaven? Will we be able to survive in the post-apocalyptic hellscape which surely awaits us? Will the cats have food once we're gone? Tune in to find out!
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 23
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 118: Question Time! - Breakfast with the Beak
Sometimes, we get a topic that we aren't quite sure is a topic. So do we just ignore it? Not anymore we don't! We're reading your fan mail, answering your weird questions, scolding each other for poor Twitter etiquette, and getting way, way too amused about ham. Guaranteed to feature more maniacal giggling than basically any other episode of this show!
Keywords: podcast; Breakfast with the Beak
Downloads: 39
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 42: Truck Nuts - Breakfast with the Beak
Truck Nuts! Scourge of the highways and back roads of this great nation! A stunning display of virility to one's fellow motorists! Or maybe just some silly crap to stick on your car when your pissing Calvin sticker starts to lose its novelty. Whatever the case, we're going to figure it out and still find time to tell a surprisingly detailed story about the Pope's penis. Seriously, where else will you hear that today?
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 22
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 142: Reincarnation - Breakfast with the Beak
Reincarnation is definitely one of the nicer afterlife options, so obviously we're trying to think of funny stuff to say about it. And that means mocking psychics, recapping forgotten supernatural romantic comedies, and debating whether or not microbes have souls. Presented with a cherished belief held by millions of people, how long does it take us to start picking at the edges? Less than the length of this episode, it turns out.
Keywords: podcast; Breakfast with the Beak
Downloads: 49
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 35: Surge Protectors - Breakfast with the Beak
It's our Thanksgiving Spectacular, and our topic is... surge protectors. Do they work? Yes. With that out of the way, we're free to talk about pretty much everything else, whether that be frozen desserts shaped like real food, the stupid side of faster-than-light travel, or just some big-ass magnets. And if a whole bunch of guest stars show up, who are we to complain? That's what the holidays are for! Jerk.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 38
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 147: Vampires and Werewolves - Breakfast with the Beak
These days, you can't tell a story about one kind of monster without every other kind of monster trying to steal the spotlight. But which creature deserves to have its story told? We're looking at a couple of the most popular, in hopes of finding out how vampires became sexy and how werewolves wound up consigned to the supernatural B-list. Legends are deconstructed, old PC games are praised, and pool cues are broken over heads in what we can only describe as a veritable monster mash...
Keywords: podcast; Breakfast with the Beak
Downloads: 52
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 124: Famous Last Words - Breakfast with the Beak
We all have to die eventually, so why not go out with one last zinger? That's basically the question we're asking this week, even as we try to pretty it up by calling it educational. We've got Karl Marx's last (short) rant, Voltaire's deathbed burn, and Socrates' least graceful dialogue, along with electric chair puns and fictional blazes of glory. If you're in the mood for morbid trivia, or just like being insulted from beyond the grave, you might want to listen to this.
Keywords: podcast; Breakfast with the Beak
Downloads: 42
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 120: Thomas Edison - Breakfast with the Beak
Well this is awkward. It's almost Tesla's birthday, and who should show up on our topic list but his old arch-enemy? What should we say? Do we even understand the principles of electrical engineering? Is being a good manager the same thing as being a good inventor? Can we find something nice to say about Thomas Edison? Or will we get hung up on that elephant he killed? It's 90 degrees and we're very tired.
Keywords: podcast; Breakfast with the Beak
Downloads: 45
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 90: Penguins - Breakfast with the Beak
Dude! Penguins! They're great! I have nothing else to add to that; penguins are great, and we're doing an episode about them. Can penguins dance? Can they ride the bus? No, but they don't need to, because they've got impeccable posture and slide around on their bellies. And if you're not into that, we have one hell of a movie pitch for you.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 47
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 11: Television - Breakfast with the Beak
You asked us to talk about television. As in, all of it. And damn it, we tried. We also talked about Mrs. Butterworth, robot doppelgangers, and all the reasons Jeff Goldblum needs to get a houseboat and start solving mysteries. And why the hell not? Most of that stuff would totally work as a show.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 27
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 136: Valentine's Day - Breakfast with the Beak
This week, we've been asked to tell the world the true meaning of Valentine's Day, and we sort of make an attempt at that. Sure, we get hung up on the horrors of ensemble romantic comedies for a while, and debate the qualifications for sainthood, and try to write a better Farmer's Almanac, but it's all in service of the topic. We definitely took this one very seriously.
Keywords: podcast; Breakfast with the Beak
Downloads: 33
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 43: Running with Scissors - Breakfast with the Beak
Running with scissors. It's the classic childhood safety hazard, and the cornerstone of lazy jokes about mental illness. Are we going to talk about any of that? Kind of. But we're pretty distracted, because the Governor of Mississippi just let a bunch of murderers out of jail for, like, no reason, and that's way more interesting. Also for no reason: massive spoilers for the most recent season of Breaking Bad.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 52
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 110: Underwater-Based Settlements - Breakfast with the Beak
Living under the sea sounds cool, right? I mean, as long as it's safe. And nobody goes crazy. And there are no Gungans around. So maybe it's not such a great idea after all. But we investigate the subject anyway. That means playing politics with the Little Mermaid, following a lawless privateer to the Snork village, and discovering a pretty huge plot hole in Bioshock. Like, really pretty huge.
Keywords: podcast; Breakfast with the Beak
Downloads: 38
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 92: Sombrero Man - Breakfast with the Beak
It's a couple days before Christmas, and you know what that means? No one's listening! So it's time to squander all that good will we've built up by doing a show centered around dumb inside jokes, exploitation of the homeless, and Doktor Socksenberg. It's better than it sounds!
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 48
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 84: Mockingbird Lane - Breakfast with the Beak
Hey, remember back in episode 48, when we wondered how, just how anyone could reboot the Munsters? Well, it turns out NBC took our advice, or the advice of someone like us, and the end result didn't suck. So... you know, watch us react to it. Look, it's pretty funny, and it's a rare chance to see us not-hate something.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 70
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 34: George W. Bush? - Breakfast with the Beak
Wait, really? George W. Bush? This show didn't even exist when he was President! But someone asked, so we're going to examine his stupidity and, more importantly, his legacy. And by 'legacy,' we mean a gaggle of GOP candidates that we're going to single out for mockery one by one. You like that? Yeah you do. And if you don't, we also talk about bringing rhinoceros golems to life with the power of love...
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 24
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 135: Cephalopods - Breakfast with the Beak
We love a good old-fashioned topic about weird animals, and they don't get much weirder than cephalopods. They change colors, they solve puzzles, they fight whales, and they're basically the closest thing we have to intelligent aliens. So of course we love them! We also waste some time talking about Halloween music and picking fights with Sacramento, so maybe you'll be interested in seeing that happen.
Keywords: podcast; Breakfast with the Beak
Downloads: 35
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 73: Kirk vs. Picard - Breakfast with the Beak
Oh, that's right. Someone finally asked us the ultimate nerd question, and we're ready to throw down. As it turns out, we're kind of conflicted. Does Kirk's impulsiveness really make him cool? Is Picard's dedication just a lingering after-effect of an early trauma? Would you trust either of them to be the designated driver if Janeway was available? Would a douche like Paul Ryan really be allowed to drive the Wienermobile? You'll have to listen to find out!
Keywords: breakfast with the beak; podcast
Downloads: 46
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 3: "Oh My God, What's Wrong With Your Face?" - Breakfast with the Beak
This week on Breakfast with the Beak, we answer one of history's most enduring questions, "Oh my god, what's wrong with your face?" As it turns out, the answer involves a secret cabal of warlocks, Jedi knights, and Pokemon masters at CNN.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 97
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 5: Summer Activities - Breakfast with the Beak
In our latest episode, we shorten a needlessly long topic and wind up talking about all manner of summer fun. Along the way, we encounter an ocean full of abominations, croquet mallets raised in anger, snow-baseball, and the purest moment of joy that Johnny Goodtimes has ever known.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 30
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 125: The Great Cicada Invasion - Breakfast with the Beak
We were promised a plague, but what we got was a few weeks of harmless bugs minding their business and occasionally chirping. Where were the decimated crops? The blotted-out skies? The children carried off by the swarm? Funny story: cicadas don't do any of that. Luckily, they're still big and gross, and we can probably wring some entertainment out of that. Tune in for a show that somehow manages to be educational despite our best efforts.
Keywords: podcast; Breakfast with the Beak
Downloads: 38
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 74: Dinosaurs - Breakfast with the Beak
This week, we've got an unusual request: lie about the extinction of the dinosaurs. Creationism, science fiction, alternate universes, we cover it all. We also debate what pheasants look like, chat with imaginary penguins, flip out about mini pizza bagels, and play a 100% illegal Pussy Riot song. Take that, Putin!
Keywords: breakfast with the beak; podcast
Downloads: 58
[audio]Breakfast with the Beak, Episode 49: Shopping with Girls - Breakfast with the Beak
Women be shoppin', right guys? Seriously, we're asking. We aren't entirely sure. Are those men on the benches at the mall really waiting around for their wives, or are they just there for a Cinnabon and a little me-time? And can we stay on-topic long enough to figure it out? Of course not; we need to talk about why the "Lorax" movie is blasphemous, and then offer Regis an absurd new job.
Keywords: podcast; breakfast with the beak
Downloads: 52
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